Autumn 2013

40.

In the blue heaven... Water gradually purls through my body, my mind and my Soul. This resuming source of life knits me into its fretworks...

The cleanest sky blue. Pure. Gentle. Perfect. Tranquillity. Ripples. Through.

Streaming. The dust. From my being. And from the forests of rimu...

On the most beautiful summer's day... I am showered in tears and rain. I am rinsed in a visions of You. I reborn in a sense of the new... I get down on my knees to thank Gods and to kiss morning dew...

My heart is bright red... It feels your heart, my Love. It almost sees it... Hidden under a shirt of Light... I want to hug you. I want to fondle you. But I am scared a little... Maybe you are just a fantasy... Another one- of my few...

I hold Your hand in my hand. I see we stand on the line together- before we start walking... I feel we are able to lift the biggest Love possible...

by Brigita Stasun

39.

Waking up with the Gratitude... mmm... That is something very very new...

 

'Your insecurities are wrapped in old patterns of attachment that have been followed by disappointment.'

 

'You will become freer in expressing Love once you accept responsibility for your actions.'

 

'Do not mix sentimental memories with a current situation.'

 

Crush! Boom! Bang! hehehe

Briga Saulė, 2013

Briga Saulė, 2013

by Brigita Stasun

38.

Loneliness ??

Memories of David still floats in my sky...

I am embarking on a journey through the sounds of his Universe- in search for a loneliness. My loneliness... Which's image I already copied from him...

... hey... you... where are you... you not scary... nor a guest... just never been named... in blend with others... time to separate... and find you a colour... hey...

'... can you feel a little Love?..'

YES I CAN!!

 

You walking the roads on the Moon

In search for loneliness path

You drinking a thought of its gloom

To outshine the gap in the heart

 

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by Brigita Stasun

37.

My darling. Thank you for your visit! You comforted me by your laughter... as you always had... With no intimate agenda attached whatsoever. You came as an understanding and compassionate other human being. That other still hurts. But every single tear sets me freer...

I am grateful. In whatever form you contact me. And I will do my best not to get attached to the forms of- 'the one', 'no one', 'someone', 'the other one'...


'Walking in my shoes' on a wet wet wet Friday evening whispers an absolute Truth- all is well!

 

'... let go of complicated feelings,

then there is no price to pay...'

 

FREE LOVE

FREEDOM  

 

DREAM ON

 

A LITTLE

LOVE

 

REPLAY

REPLAY

REPLAY                              


On the bridge--------

 

You are awaited, sugar.

Briga Saulė, 2014

Briga Saulė, 2014

by Brigita Stasun

36.

Desire to be in a few different places at the same time creates a havoc.

Havoc is a stage number one. Accelerated motion screws you in a circle of routine and you simply starting to live only its details- the ones which never changes- alternation stops... Then you just 'do what you have to do'- over and over again. With no joy or laughter. In heaviness of 'same same no different'. 

Stage number two. When you not able just be, you always find what to do. You do not question the value- you just spin like a peg-top in an orbit of Saturn. When you start asking questions, you realize that you have to stop accelerating; but your Ego- which is riding wild horse of the mind- refuses to do so. The panic starts after an understanding that its forces are more potent than you thought.

Stage number three- the tussle starts. All sorts of emotions joins this battle. To reconcile or to split you apart- depends...

 

That is how I live here and now. On the way to Dublin- to recharge musically (Depeche Mode concert- David!!!), to search for a different vibes and, maybe, to find (or, at least, to notice) some of their sparkles...

Autumn is triumphing in colours. Warmth is still felt. 'Classic Relax' sounds calls winter bells upon... It is sunny on my land beloved.

Arnold T, 2013

Arnold T, 2013

Or, maybe, it is fear? Caused by richness of my existence?? Which I ignore by living in a havoc and dreaming about unrealistic future? It is like tuning into different radio station- you like it, but you not sure you want it- the old one was good also. Even when it does not work at its full potential any more...

Fear is CLEAR in colour. Where? ON MY VISION!!

by Brigita Stasun

35.

Today is not a very good day... Feeling of 'being in a bucket'- with stagnant time and dreams too high. So dull, no spark around... Space is good. Too much space would be questionable...


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My darling... Please. I have to ask you to leave me now in peace... Unreality is starting to haunt me. I do not want to play a guessing game no more... And I do not know any other way to manage this around. So please... Just go... Out of my head, my body, my heart, my dreams... Just leave... Please... I do not want to fill this empty space with another fantasy... I do not want to do this ever again... I want to be here. And now. Totally present. Without unreal unmanageable distractions... Please... Dreaming is not enough for me any more... I want to feel. I want to touch. I want to smell. I want to have. On my palm... Besides that snowflake I have asked about... In a moment of real. With a sense of possibility. With a thought of forever. Somewhere along the highway... Not in a memory lane... Somewhere I can become that snowflake, to melt on the lips... from the biggest pleasure... of the hottest first kiss...

Just leave, my darling, leave...

I choose to live...

Even in this vast empty space of my present, alone...

Please...

May the Light shines on you, my Halloween ghost long-lived...

Goodbye.

And-

Thank you...

by Brigita Stasun

34.

You can trip and trip, and trip- with no end and no beginning. You can live and live, and live- in a masterpiece of your very own creations. Spending winters in Bruges- all dressed up in cashmere- by the dancing fire, still reliving those senses of how we first met...

I will never look at your chest the same way as I did. It will never feel as it felt...

Love started here--------

How amazing. How impressive. How strong and big. How surreal all is... We are so close, my Love. We are so so so close... I am starting to feel You as I never felt You before. I melt in a vision of Your touch...

POSSIBILITY- tells me Magician through the cards. That possibility just blanks the rest of my mind...

 

(Physical experience of the sense of Attraction. We pull up towards each other... This is something that makes my heart soar. I feel it- no doubt. Beautiful! Real!!! Grateful...

'... bring me, please, that snowflake on a palm of your hand...')

by Brigita Stasun

33.

We played a game at work today- we rated our happiness of present day- in scale from one to ten. Seven- I gave it- thinking that my tiredness, without a doubt- is allowed to take another three points out...

I think about this game again. I ask myself a question- why simple tiredness has to affect my happiness that much? Let's try to separate again- let's put this tiredness aside...

Please, ask me now this question once again- how much would I rate this minute of my day? Well, it is more than seven! In fact- it is more than eight! Because, if I ask myself what is lacking this very moment, I have to say that- to be honest- NOTHING, really! Everything is just great! I am a little tired, yes, but that just is- it does't overwhelms my day. Oh, I like so much the separation game!!

Proper (loose, brewed) green tea in a red tea pot with a 'right' cup in a cafe of five star hotel- is a reward for my awareness! Yam yam... yeah- ten I tame on this red heaven day!!

Red heaven.  Briga Saulė, 2013

Red heaven. Briga Saulė, 2013


I come to this beach to inhale weekend again. The sea is calling for surfers... Madonna's 'Justify My Love' has an intention to throw me into a vision of holding your hand in Rome, of kissing you in Paris... Ah, my body gets exited from a thought of extreme intimacy, which I am not able to handle right now, so 'HOLD' folder opens up its favours... Imelda's May red lips smiles from a magazine cover (addition to red heaven!), another session of green tea prolongs my happiness even further than ten... October drizzle busks to my ear... Orange flowers awaits to be collected...

There is nothing more to ask for! Golden bliss is settling on my busy mind...

Bank Holiday weekend-------- 

by Brigita Stasun

32.

Stay focused, sugar, even when it starts raining on your angelic Soul...

Marga, 2010

Marga, 2010

by Brigita Stasun

31.

Little and grown up being. Today- still framed in a world of 'Paperbele', tomorrow- who knows...

I have a privilege to meet an old Soul in a child's body.

Protection and reassurance she is in search for these years of her childhood. I have always felt that. Sometimes- I get scared by the accuracy of my senses, sometimes- I wish I wouldn't feel at all. But that is just sometimes. I am grateful for such a blessing- all other times... 

She links to me, that tiny wise old Soul. She feels. And wants to know... I know. And want to feel... She is granted a freedom over her choice. But she is scared a little, because this is an opposite way to life her Mum explores...

'Shall we take it or leave it?'- in talk are our Souls...

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Am I meant to play a part in the journey of this little Alice, I wonder on my way back home...

by Brigita Stasun

30.

'To learn to see more deeply, practice having no opinion for a while.'

 

Being present with every single cell of my body. Magical--------

 

Pure highest of the Self.

Pure clarity of the Soul.

Pure expression of a wonderful Life.

Pure acception of it All.

 

You name it-  I  h a v e  i t !!!

Marga, 2010

Marga, 2010

by Brigita Stasun

29.

That day has come- 'Baboro' and its 'Cloud Man'!

Do I believe in a Cloud Man? The one, who makes and minds the clouds...

Well, my inner child does, hehe.

 

Orange candle in my bag, orange smoothie in my hand- an orange time, smile!


One two three- where are we?

Outside the theatre of our town I meet Bruno- an Italian- director of children's theatre. He treats me with wide Italian smile, an Italian rollie, 'La Vita e Bella' and his 'Dots'. Dots and their friends- Shapes- stimulated my imagination in a few different ways. Funky, colourful and a little crazy. Blend of 'full' and 'lacking'. Very 'memento' performance- in full collaboration with an autumn! Another little bliss to my orange time, which I pleasurably share with myself, you and everybody around!

Another green day- full of sunshine, beautiful children and their laughter...

 

My perfect 'Tea Room' has adopted fake orchids... Not so impressed, no. Everybody and everything is full and lacking of someone or something... And that is a fun part for my ignited dotty imagination at work :)

Plus- I am in the position to observe- once again...

Zita looks like Alanis Morissette today... I wonder if she is in the position to SEE... (Carlos Castaneda has his spell on me)

 

Ah, how do I stay and go at the same time??


'Human Child' was wrapped in wonder, amusement, consideration, an amazing stage production and clouds of white feathers! What a gift!! I clapped my hands standing- bravo, guys!!

Briga Saulė, 2013

Briga Saulė, 2013

by Brigita Stasun

28.

You have been sent here to connect. To establish the bond with everything from the very basic. To taste the rawest forms of the experiences- the breath of the Earth, the movement, the feeling. Sometimes you choose to loose the path, because it feels too familiar; sometimes you just too afraid- because it feels way too real... Teach yourself to fish- take a chance- drop a hook- catch- establish the bond- commit and do your best- enjoy the fruits of the loom... That is what we came on Earth for. To realign with the breath, which feeds sunflowers in a valley; the breath, which plays with rays of sunshine in the abundance of an orange colour leaves this beautiful autumn... The breath, which switches on the stars and lifts the moon from the ocean... The breath, which makes volcanoes active- that subtle coral silky feeling for you to know- it is alive... For you to inspirit that power. For you to walk your way back to the Truth... Which awaits for you. Always was. Always will.


Pregnancy with Love... What a feeling! That is just another something, lacking words of the Earth. Physical feeling of something else way too real inside you... Comes all the way up from a base and stops at the heart level... There is no bond here yet. I feel vivid fear... of old... programming... what is this?... why is it here?...

I splash into tears... So heavy this fear, so big...

 

'Do not cry, dear angel. Do not be afraid... You have been very brave to come here. You did very well. Go back to the moonlight and rest now...'


So much of it all. One gives birth to another one- in connections, in bonds, in commitments. To point the bond between the green meadows and explosion of little white flowers in them... Like you see every summer in Ireland... To understand the connection we have to establish here- with Love. Which, also- was, is and always will be... Next to your thought of a moment...

Alive I shine...

 

(Different roles?

Nurturing?

Trust VS mistrust??

What is an intimate trust???)

 

Hot flashes continuing...

by Brigita Stasun

27.

Now- about Love-------- 

Energy of Love has nothing to do with any other energy!!!

How have I never thought of separating?? Another part is added to my freedom. Another gift is dropped into my basket of goodies, which I am preparing to share.

Everything vibrates as One today. I feel fabulous- at ease, joyous, so free and so very special. I do not rush and keep the focus. I channel Love as separate energy. An individual one- for all day...

I greet the clarity with a smile. I accept this knowledge and grow taller...

Briga Saulė, 2013

Briga Saulė, 2013


Inspired by Izabella, I am starting to dream my life again...

 

'One of the greatest sins is unlived life.'

 

'Be glad of life. Because it gives you a chance to love and work, to play, and to look up at the stars.' (Henry van Dyke)

 

by Brigita Stasun

26.

So very gentle.

So so white.

In so much space.

So fresh.

So high.

So natural.

And so at ease.

So very true--------

Inhale release...

 

On the very top of snowy mountains... As close to the skies as human can be... You have everything your heart desires... So easily created by your own Self... With Love, purest of joys- all in style :) Cherries on the snow... Ah, angel, Gods likes the way you dream!

 

Enjoy the healing, Sunshine. Opalite is as light as summer's morning in Achill...

by Brigita Stasun

25.

I come to an end of the cycle... Feels good. And good always means right. For the first time I clearly understand what the experience of the cycle is...

This end leads to beginning of the next chapter of my life--------

 

The treats you asked for, sugar!

Now smile and go to get yourself those blinds, sofa, projector, those Dr Martens boots, that yellow cardigan, renovate your bathroom, pay a visit to Dali- you so love, and all those other etc's you lately dreamed of!!

 

The Law of Attraction in place- no effort ever goes unnoticed- 'What you saw is what you reap.'

PASS ME THAT MANGOE AND JAZZBERRY JAM!!

Briga Saulė, 2013

Briga Saulė, 2013


Today's green (tea, hehehe) is boiled in the book shop's cafe. Around the books I always feel warm. And warmly sad- for today...

'Money cannot buy you happiness'- comes in fact. At the very interesting time, I have to say.

'Fitness and Diet' book shelf I gaze upon...

by Brigita Stasun

24.

I was allowed to come back Home for a little while... It was something I will never forget. When your Earthly form meets up with your Universal form... there is no space for doubt... It is all too big, too clear, too powerful, too indescribable... Its just this straight focused Power... It vibrates all around us in an ether of IS... I understood, that I have met ME- collected through hundreds of lives into one single Masterpiece...

 

There are no words on this Earth to express the Gratitude I feel right now...

by Brigita Stasun

23.

All the roads lead and educe you somewhere... Forest has its own fairy tales to tell- listen to its sounds and follow... Yes, for real...

Sunlit and colourful is saga of this autumn! Sad and cheerful- streaming with joy and bleeding with dole... Totally sober and sowed in golden coins, ha!

I berry the memories in this forest today... About the sweetest fragments of my own childhood, curded around one particular place... The place, which never going to be even a thousand miles closer to the significant- as it already has been... Forest overgrow here these days... No more pathway for me to proceed...

So I thank everybody, I cut the ivy, connecting me to this forest, and passing it to somebody, who are in need for it- to create their own stellular story...

Joe Hynes, 2011

Joe Hynes, 2011


Fortune cookie is my treat of the day! And guess what it tells me--------

'You are very ambitious; you will achieve great things.'

Hehehe, please, do not call fortune cookie lame ever again, hehehe

by Brigita Stasun

22.

Should I tell you a story about the sweetest delights of my human existence? Should I bring you to the late lunch on the shores of unpredictable? That unpredictable is a dance of the dolphins today!!! Incorporated in unusual stillness of Lahinch, on Saturday evening of late September...

Releasing all the unforgiven and toxins... Joy is playing with my shadow... Reflection is impossible- sunset is too blinding! I dive into the melody of those birds and drink the goodness of the moment... Filled up to forever. Inhale nature's mystery and stay with unpredicted...

I am falling for David (Depeche Mode) again, ha! Seems like 'everything is not enough'!

Briga Saulė, 2013

Briga Saulė, 2013


At Home so at Peace links to Heaven so on Earth :)

I nest myself in a woollen blanket and sink into the night. Delayed wine stays untested... David feels real... And fools around...

Briga Saulė, 2013

Briga Saulė, 2013

 

What a beautiful evening of the blue sadness...

 

by Brigita Stasun

21.

That stuffiness! Even in the air... The sense of being insignificant again! It is with me and all around me...

-------- Heaviness of the relationships--------

 

Should we contemplate true feelings in every close relationship?

What do we call- being close?

Close = Significant?

Conflict = Leaving?

 

The last is definitely the one I have to contemplate about in my own empty space...

 

Bebop titillates the pit of my stomach swirling all sorts of energy inside. Will we be able to take our friendship to the next level, my FRIEND?- I search around for a cookie... Green tea, instead of a coffee, still feels ok :)

My little town entangled in the cobwebs of an autumn... So beautiful, but still a shadow... Contrary is the beauty...

'That is what happens in an absence of fun!'- I reach a thought behind. 'Or, maybe, all this is not that significant as long as you are significant to yourself?'

 

In the end- I love you all! I truly do. And that is very significant feeling!

Occupy your mind with the Light, joy and that lasting lasting feeling of summer's breeezzze... And, please, do not rush, my precious girl- everything will disentangle at its own paste, space and significant others...

 

Bartender brings me a cookie...

Briga Saulė, 2011

Briga Saulė, 2011

by Brigita Stasun