Joy and Salsa at my door!
Happiness so much! Wine, please- more!
Let me dance my present moment
Through the Latin Quarter on Galway land!
Life I dream- please, come in
and watch me kissing this
Joy and Salsa at my door!
Happiness so much! Wine, please- more!
Let me dance my present moment
Through the Latin Quarter on Galway land!
Life I dream- please, come in
and watch me kissing this
Collage from Sheyla--------
Mix men and music
Giddy with promise of danger
Sometimes dark is an Absolute
Brick of eternity
I found you before the apple trees were planted
Silk and gold of blossoms
Promise of salvation
On the old foundation
Mystery of ginger hair
Pre destined to confess.
Between the bookies and the pub he lost her.
Poison of sadness and a sound of clarinet...
(... ah :( One way Love and double ice cream sounds better :)
Today I get a strong sense that we all have our own realities we live to.
I get a strong sense that it is possible to live the life you dream of.
It is possible to be who you imagine and wish of being.
Invite your Creativity in! It will come and bring its pals along- Imagination and Possibility! Get to know them, play around and become good friends. They'll walk with you- in colour and in sound, in smell, in touch, in taste. They will help you to understand your likes and adopt the role you wish to play. They will help you to reach the life of dreams...
I took a Google tour today from our fundamental understanding of the world around- starting with an attempt to define reality and ending with an idea that whatever reality is, it isn't what it seems. Somebody defined the Universe as a computer- 'Everything what goes on in it can be explained in terms of information processing...'. So here we go- your own perspective of the World! The smell of roses does not exist without experiencing mind, wise people say...
The way I see reality- it is performance in a theatre. A stage production, as we speak. Specific setting, with story line created. With roles segmented, adopted, and acted out in unrehearsed situations. The king, princess, musketeer who hunts adventures; Queen's faithful servant, house helper, crazy scientist, mad wife, the priest in power, hottest lover, field worker or a joker- it is all us! You can adopt few roles- if you'll manage to cheat your heart and Soul. It is up to us, whatever choice we make- to laugh and dream up high, or more to struggle- to do the same hard way...
Remember always- there is few theatres in this town. And even more around. You pick the story you want to play; when bored, or tired, too lonely or betrayed- move to the next one and start again- it is ok! Many performances in life we meant to play...
Consider that, do not be afraid, and off you go on stage!
'Do you have a second name?'- my new friend asks today.
'I have many names, darling, so I do. I am a fairy, I told you! I am not real. I am a fantasy of yours, just like you are mine- let's stay surreal!'
'Well played'- he says.
He doesn't believe me.
Or, maybe, he knows this game...
... i do not know. But I don't ask and I don't question. I let us be a little undecipherable, just like we promised and agreed. Let's always have a little mystery inside! Let's have a private sacred dream! Because it is attractive very much, I think... Because of that, we fall for each other at first thing...
Let's step onto the land of dreams...
Close your eyes. Imagine. Feeeeeeel.
Cork's vinyl dreams this time I choose, and cutely blink blink blink
I laugh and I laugh, and I cannot stop laughing these days! I feel so happy and so free. I feel so light- I am healing. I walk the streets smiling. I am so full of Love, unreal!!
It's been so long since I have felt this way! It's been so long since I had morning coffee in town!
It's been a while since white feathers landed on the mindset 'go and get it'!
But today- I accepted the status quo. And blessings starts sparkle in daisies petals...
I am leaving my ten years long lasted job...
I spilled sugar by accident all over the kitchen table, chairs and floor! Laughter continues- the sweetest sugar is all over my core, ha!
My body is ready. And so, I think, is my mind. To take it all in- what is given.
It asks for it. It even begs it for.
'Unblock the senses. Release the old. Invite the Light and see what happens after all...'
'I am Light. I am Love. I am Freedom. I am the Goddess. I am the Creator. I am the Ruler.'- over and over again dismounts from my lips mantra forgotten...
Come Light, please, come stay.
'You have to think big'- educates me my friend today... He is 'happy out', so I listen. We drink coffee, we share big dreams. We discuss the gap between sophisticated taste and the available means. We juggle the charm of in different culture's rooted beliefs. He is an Irish man and I am from Europe's east, just like the Love of his life- his best friend, his muse and his lover- G...
'But what is about our, eastern European's, attitude to work?'- I contemplate today- 'We work and work, and work comes first, unless you one leg in a grave...'
'It is that communism of yours'- he comments looking at his babe.
Irish opinion on board I take...
I sit in a cafe; I am listing a book about 'Faith and Philosophy in Contemporary Ireland' today. 'Religion Religion Religion' flaps out from almost every page...
'Communism confused us, yes, I do agree. Just like religion- you, Irish people'- I laugh to Madam. She has a little 'holy molly' living inside her, so she states, that religion is better, because it is about Faith. Communism, in some way, is a religion also, and from my experiences I can say- it is all about the same Faith!
So coming back to the attitudes we have about work, in this case-
Religion declares Faith in good and possible magic by inviting you do nothing much- just trust, accept and pray. (With other cultural aspects on top- Irish people not a very hard working nation- they work less, have more fun and you know- they have it all! Every single chance they get to be off work- they take it without a second thought.)
Faith that communism offers- to believe in good and possible magic you make it yourself- by w o r k i n g hard. Well, too hard for me anyway, hehehe... (I am sure- I was Irish before!)
Communism brings an utopia of illusion; religion- of guilt. And vise versa, of course. Both misinterpreted Faith. Because both of them on a mission to CONTROL.
So, don't you dare to walk away from the holy mass of Sunday, my Irish friends! And eastern European's- don't you even think about not showing up for work, hehehe...
I read some years ago the original idea of Karl Marx's Faith. In theory- you could believe in communism, but in practice- it doesn't work. We are not ready for a nature of this kind of thought, just yet. Maybe, in our next lifetime, or, maybe, not :)
I promise to myself, that my next job (or one of a few) will be one, where I'll wear jewellery and paint my nails in colour sky blue...
I delete all alarms from my phone and to the dreamland I go... mmm...
Real deal Faith, come upon!
I have been granted two weeks of rest! Thank you, doctor Aoibhinn, and Universe- thanking you!
I can go for a walk every day!
I'll do yoga, I'll meditate!
I'll sleep every morning until eight bells church will ring!
I'll read and I'll sing, I'll watch the rain and in a bathtub I'll sink!
I'll cook new dish every day and I'll go for a drive!
I'll watch every evening a movie and, maybe, I'll write!
I'll iron my summer dresses, I'll finish painting my Cork!
I'll dance, I'll go for a coffee with my friend and his dog...
So happy, relieved, I can breathe once again.! But first what I do- I kick off my heels, I put coffee on, I sit down and paint my nails in colour sky blue...
Visualize it. But allow it to HAPPEN NATURALLY- would be my long awaited answer...
I jump from one star to another... I switch them on... They start to rain pink hearts... (after Reiki session)
Direction is pointed- I have to restart.
I know I want. I feel I can. I smell it's here. I sense the best.
Today is a wonderful day- coloured in brightest sunshine!
With kites on the beach and alluring everyone's smile...
Today I buy all sorts of berries- to welcome summer and to infuse myself with her breeze mild.
I friendly flirt with men that I meet; I compliment women; I wink for a child...
Today- groovy jazz records are out from their folders and white amber dreams are back on my porch.
Sweet dose of poetry and the message, delivered from Cork- a bottle of Grolsh...
Today I walk barefoot in my house and I put winter blanket away to store.
I sit down to edit my business card- I imprint new profession on it- WRITER- and a sunshine I draw...
'Fair play to you, girl'- coloured happy my Soul!
Awareness is both- tragic and magic. I am relieved today. I acknowledge 'no choice' situation- one more. I have promised myself long long time ago, that if I ever reach anywhere the stage of 'I hate it'- I will never ignore. So here it is- shining engraved in my 'Life of Death' stone. That is it... I have to go back to the Faith, engraved in the same stone- to accept that I have to surrender... To get the feel for 'letting it go'...
I carried two precious stones- Sodalite and Citrine- in my pocket for the last four days- to stimulate my creativity and overcome that sadness, which started to drive me astray... They smartly offered their creative support, forcing me to say laud the classical line-
I HATE MY JOB.
In life, doing what you do not like always has consequences, which manifests in stages- it starts from 'I don't mind', follows by 'I don't like' and reaches 'I hate it'- which is a dead end. You either acknowledge it, accept it and turn for a different road, or you become living dead. 'Dead' comes in stages as well:
Dead never will bloom again- creative force is killed.
Dead never will move from a place and slowly will start to stink.
Dead lies in an expensive white frilled box, rocking solemn lullabies into damned dreams.
Dead watches around by snuffling the Earth, rough in delight- eventually it starts envy others joys of the life.
But it never gets up anywhere from a comfort of expensive frilled whites.
It starts to get angry, depressed, frustrated and sinks into physical illness, created during dead time...
And then it's too late- it is old, sick and wayyy more afraid,
And whiteness expensive once, has adopted hint grey...
And that is it- the end of a show- cobwebs too tight- coffin closes down- you good to go...
Scenario painfully known...
Am I walking away to that scary unknown with trusting a chance, or staying to stink in the spring's green halo?...
Enough dragging around, sugar, l e t i t g o ...
Ah. I tell you what- it is a little easier from a thought that you are launching the transformation yourself, but it is still very very very heavy to walk through the passage... With all my essence I pray for a beauty and a sense of humour today- to colour me a happy in the moments of significant no/or/fun...
With mantra 'I hate my job' and a rash on my chest I stay for today...
Where is your joys, honey bunny,
Why are you constantly sad?
Why does the sorrows of a day
Prevent you from the pleasures you can have?
'It is a shortage of time
And the issues at work;
Routine, on which I spend half my life,
And everything else- which is still not reworked...'
You make us laugh, beautiful flower,
When you start talking about a shortage of time.
Those issues at work- grows you taller
And routine- is your little cute lie...
Everything else should be matter of pleasure!
Living adversity should be an inspiration to you.
Look upon- chestnut trees are starting to bloom!
Love is the only one matter, which has to be reworked through...
In my homeland people say, that if you fall in love when chestnut trees blooms- it's forever...
Interestingly enough, I read history article in a paper today- about Adolf Hitler and psychology around his charisma; about the people back then and the people right now--------
I meet clarity on my way again...
It brings me an understanding that I am one of those people, who has their own philosophy in life. The one for me- is a philosophy which carries out deep ancient traditions and has a deep personal meaning. It takes courage to embrace philosophy these days. But I have that courage. I have the strength and the ability to follow it and express it, accordingly. Nobody can control me. I do choose the way I want to live and games I want to play- myself. I can agree or disagree, depending on my values, belief system and visions, that I have adopted. And for the first time I have a chance to speak them up to the highest authorities. It feels like an exam again, oh dear... But I have made a commitment this lifetime- to be brave even when being scared. So with my own code of ethics on the side I proceed- living in Trust and Love; communicating Honesty and Truth without an illusion. I am open to my social responsibilities and all those crisis, which forces to examine and reflect upon my very core. That is how I strive to stay connected to the network of intelligence and potential Grace. And that is a fact about me. Not any heavy label.
Being pretty low I acknowledge my own personal sovereignty and invite that something b i g , which is walking through an interlude closer and closer towards me...
'Let go of the day... I do not hold grunges. I am not always in control of where my day starts, but I am always in control of where it ends'- I read this evening.
Gratitude is the way we move.
Even the rain of the good old West cannot washout my sorrows these days. Empty and still I embark towards the South, as I promised myself, once again... Maybe its sunshine and the dreams of my sweet possible future will heal my injured Soul a little, and will give me that hope, I am in search for so desperately nowadays...
M20- Cork- my pulse starts beating faster and a tear of joy (after all!) falls out from my heart...
This moment is about silence. And a Hope, which catches my vision every few steps that I make. Today I light a candle in the church and I pray. For the sense of connection- I must newly create and display...
Dusty pink is St Mary's church in Malow. Dusty pink (lonely) is my feel for the World...
Gorgeous meaningful art on my cracked ground--------
Everything is about blended sorrows and joys.
About the sunshine and the shadows.
About dusty pink mountains
And wonders of Power.
About the troubled Moon
And the shelter of your own ground.
About the Earth, which trembles
And a starless heaven is yet.
About a smoke drifting towards
Your favourite branch of art.
About the visions of paradise placed
In the Sun, together rest.
About drowsy charm of impulse creative,
Embracing liberty of consciousness
Which slides in reverse.
About the final cloud
And new morning of life.
About density and intensity of it all-
Chosen to alter a form
and be displayed
in a physical
(... blue still life with a knife :) (collage from Samuel Forde exhibition 'Visions of Tragedy'))
J named my dear Galway 'the graveyard of ambitions', oh, man...
Sad but true, I have to admit.
Well, please, excuse us- your diamonds of province- we do like to live on repeat...
Damn you, Cork people, hehe
The rain of the South helps to flush away all the expectations I am ready to release...
I have never had so nothing.
I do not even have myself anymore...
Big shift in my consciousness happened.
And for the first time in years I look for an umbrella-
Not to melt in the rain and that 'nothing', somewhere in Cork...
Food tales of English market- strawberries for two into one- to go, please...
Are you real OR just an art of a silhouette?
Pendulum is swinging
Come on, walk a mile
I might trick you into the second
I smell the incense. I sit in front of full Moon, which hangs on the stage. I drink red and listen to psychedelic rock, performed by extremely good looking young men! Paradigm of simply natural resources- perfect party for me- virgin of twilight, so it is many thanks...
A time of change, a time of choice, a time of chance- what would you do if you were there??
And with Faithless I come back...
An evening in Mayo. I am shepherding the horses with my sight... Peaceful and beautiful evening. White horse comes over to say 'hi'... So elegantly the sun going down. Magpies in pairs are flying around. I wish I would have some more tears to cry. The beauty I see elevates me too high...
What can I say- it is all about living and learning.
About yourself and about others.
It is all about acknowledging and shaping.
That tragic into magic of ours.
It is all about creating.
Yourself and your world.
It is all about being grateful.
For the clarity and the strength to stand facing the Light.
And it is all about forgiving.
And relief that it brings.
It is all about generating that ''thought', 'virtue', 'love' and 'intent' (in Chinese written characters all include the character signifying the heart) which I rewrite again and once more- in these pages, my mind, my dreams, and tattoo in my heart...
(... experiencing the meaning of 'double standards'.)
Three identical white dogs are on my beach today!
I sit in Eyre Square which sparkles in beautiful spring, and contemplate- how much money do we have to have to live simple and elegant life?
Or, maybe, I should start from 'how I want to live this summer?'
Or my mind, still slavering to capitalism, has its own ready 'templates'?
So I just sit enjoying the spring and trying not to think too much. I am drinking the sweetest Chai Latte and remembering words of Declan, the citizen adviser- '... there are not going to be lunches in town... no teas or coffees...'
But there are no lunches in town anyway. And there is a coffee as a desert option- three times a week- I am sure it will be plenty! Teas?? Hahaha, there is always going to be tea, haha... -' on the table!'- like I heard in Kevin Higgins's sarcastic poetry about life in Ireland- almost before modern..., hahaha.
And today I just be. In the bliss of spring. With wonders about time circles... Catching the birds with my sight and watching my Sun, which is rising...
Peace of the unknown is at my bay.
With tea, so to speak :)
And when the day's last cigarette is smoked, you feel beginnings even more sharply.
It is so much space for the loving thoughts to come and occupy all your human essence...
It hit me. Just like that- out of the blue.
It scattered into pieces old. And settled pink pathway towards new.
I feel its power in every single word I write. I feel how it starts settling on my human mind.
It leaves the doubts aside. And overwhelms me with the good old Light...
I ask myself am I scared. And the answer is yes, from the potential I bear...
There is no other kind of fear.
There is a sunshine. And the spring. And empty pages, waiting to be filled in.
The ones I asked to be presented as opportunity to deepen rawest senses...
To realign again- with Love and Truth.
With possibility to dream and write about what comes through.
For me to live in Trust,
for you to watch me- eternal slave of Love, which walks beside you...
You good to go, sugar.
And hey- you promised us to laugh!!