Summer 2014

41.

'You allow yourself too many pleasures'- tells me somebody I use to know...- 'you are off the road'- we talking big words here.

... the pleasures he refuses to define... My search for Truth, my self-actualization, my arty expression, my desire for adventures and learning, my decision to follow the dreams and even my new golden sandals that I always wanted and which Universe gave it to me as a gift for good luck eventually (for four euro fifty)- he overshadows with vanity... Oh.

'You are so vain to believe you are God!'- he raises his voice- 'you phew God straight into face here! You are going to burn in hell'- he states.

 

I sense his enormous guilt. I vividly feel his fear...

 

'Describe for me hell, please'- I ask.

'You don't know what the hell is?'- his lower lip starts shivering...- 'it is where devil locks you on the chains... and disembowels you...'

'What?'- I am shocked!

'... and then sets you on fire... and you burn... alive...'- he continues the fear factor and my jaw drops down to my heels...

 

'Where did you get this picture from?'- I wonder.

'It is written in the Bible!'- he shouts.

'Show me where'- I insist, because I have no doubt, somehow, that this cannot be true.

 

He comes down a little, he has no further argument. His lower lip stills shivers...

 

 

This picture of hell leaves me speechless for a while too. I think about how scary must be to live your life believing something like that. I think about why people choose to believe some crazy stories like this one, when they have a choice to believe anything they want to believe. I believe in Earth, Heaven, Myself and in People, because my Gods told me to. I believe in their Unconditional Love for me, which does not incorporate judgement. I experience their protection and support more than often and have no reason to be scared. And I know, that when I die and go to Heaven (which is the only place to go) I will greet my Gods, Jesus Christ, Buddha, Torah, Muhammad and all others, who will understand that I did my best in life- I did whatever I could do; and whatever I didn't do- I couldn't do, that time. And I will accept with pleasure another chance to come back to Earth and try again. Because they love me UNCONDITIONALLY, you know... So no chains for me, my dear Catholic friend.

... disembowels you... sets you on fire... For what? Think again. Because you dedicate your life to your advancement as human being? Because you have decided to pursue your dream carrier? Because you left your husband, who abused you and your children? Because you have a glass of wine or two in a dinner party? Because you sometimes listen to heavy metal music? Because you enjoy your new dress, which make you look and feel fabulous? Because you kissed that man, which is in your dreams for the last three months? Because God loves you all the way? That just doesn't make sense to me, I am sorry.


'Gluten for punishment you are'- smiles one wise friend of mine.

'I am gluten free, remember?' (I have this kind of diet) We both laugh...


For the next two days I Google theology lectures on Christianity and Catholicism...

 

by Brigita Stasun