Winter 2013/14

38.

Such a drunkenness! From all the anxiety of being constantly late; from the stresses of literal writings of all sorts; mental pressure of missing the moments; full time job; daily routine, which has to be run; non organized well-being and non existent motivation to do so. Coffees in the middle of the week, wayyyy over smoked cigarettes, lack of fresh air and a shortage of sleep- I am paying the price...

But plenty of gifts, plenty of flowers, plenty of money, plenty of the nicest surprises, plenty of new friendships to prove- Love is flowing! Plenty of poetry for breakfast at work (Michael D. Higgins this time- yes, the one, hehe) and music sweet music- to support. A bunch of creative ideas- sadly- losing a chance all to be processed...

And all of this- in a closed spaces and on accelerated motion mode- going into a danger zone of becoming a ghost here and an alien there...

by Brigita Stasun

37.

I am flying through an Irish country side at a speed I have never reached before! I am faster than the birds! I am faster than my thoughts!!

My good old Volvo- I trust; the pleasure of classics- I enjoy!

In search for the spring...

by Brigita Stasun

36.

Godzilla is walking through my Garden of Eden! Godzilla is trampling my flowers!!

 

'Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.'

 

'Everyone may not be good, but there is always something good in everyone. Never judge anyone shortly, because every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.' (Oscar Wilde)

 

'When you judging somebody, you have no time to love them.'

 

'Love is the absence of Judgement.' (Dalai Lama)

 

by Brigita Stasun

35.

'Chocolate Jesus' tonight

Has never been sang

To trigger my mind

Down a memory line

To guess why you liked

Those notes on the strings

Because of a chocolate

Or Jesus

Or, maybe, that rhythm of life

You were in

 

Briga Saulė, 2009

Briga Saulė, 2009

'It is not about 'staying in the past', it is about being inspired by it.'

by Brigita Stasun

34.

Everything is green today. Even my ginger bread boy :)

So much Love filtered.You would never believe so much Love you can have deep within...

 

I look at myself from the clouds...

I admire my wisdom. I admire my strength.

Courage and kindness. I cannot believe I'm so brave...

So understanding and so at ease.

So special. So unusual. So everything what is...

 

Briga Saulė, 2009

Briga Saulė, 2009


And when the eyes of my little town shuts down and a dog stops barking, I crawl my way into a night with a feeling of blessing for having it all...

Come walk with me... to my Moon...

by Brigita Stasun

33.

And here it comes...

...another wow. Followed by so many yes's. Feeling of loss gives a way to the feeling of openness. I am stepping into the 'big' again. Every single drop of the past fades... I look at the river flow... I do not know what is on the other side. All I know- I have to step in. In the end of the day- it is a water- cannot be that scary to me- the crab, hehe.

I channel the biggest Gratitude- for all we had together. For those big things we processed. For what we gained, for what we learned, for what we laughed. For what we managed to shape into the gravity of present and the reality of dreamed. With that I shall proceed. On my own... To disgorger into the green...?

I accepted it all. Now I can exchange this loss. Into the focus that I crucially need. I am grateful for the death. And a birth of a new to follow...

Ground is slightly tremors under my feet. For me to get use to the feeling of walking the clouds, so I guess...

 

Elevating once again... mmmmm...

 

'Looking for the meaning of this and finding the Universe smiling at me with that vibration of indescribable detail of beauty, shining through the fog pleading for that lost symbiotic relationship...'

Sergei Rachmaninoff fells like perfect companion for transcending this realm of existence into the plane that is my subconscious... All things comes to an end. That is one of the rules here on Earth.


Suddenly- the river stops- and people on the other side appears next to you...

What was that, my dear Madam??

by Brigita Stasun

32.

Releasing toxicity into the Space...

Loving every single of you- my dear humans- for creating my days...

Tears of amber falling down from the sky...

A million dollars- I envy my life!

 

With a sense of humour through the Love and Space... Naked passion is teasing my imagination. I taste an intimate wild... Who are You??

 

Restart- would be a feeling in the air. Create pink hearts!

by Brigita Stasun

31.

It comes a time when you don't now how you feel. That is very uncommon to me.

Thoughts... Brain... Massage...


A BIRTHDAY CARD

 

'We are not human beings on a spiritual journey, we are spiritual beings on a human journey'- said once Paolo Coelho. I copy and paste this to my friend on a holy day of Sunday...

'In which world are you struggling, baby'- she asks me on not so holy Monday.

I smile. I know she knows. She is a yellow too. She counsels humans- that is what she does. So she still expects me to answer. In counselling is like in law- whatever you say- can and will be used against you, you know.

'I want to send a Birthday card to an old friend of mine'- I say instead.

'Let me guess. Will that be the one you challenged the other time?'- she makes sure she is correct. Counsellor's memory is unmistakable. 

'Yes, the same one. I had no choice but to do it. I could not play  t h a t  game any longer. So you do what you have to do. The road to freedom is never easy...'- I sing the last line. 'I have this beautiful card- of a girl in mountains; dressed in a skirt, made from the palm tree leaves... She stands there, on the top of the highest mountain, with a wooden stick in her hand as a weapon. Alone, but not lonely... Curious and confident...'- my imagination starts to unravel its magic- 'I am going to draw a big heart inside that card and put a white feather in, which I brought with me from the island of Achill in the pages of my diary...'- I am already living a feeling of getting such a beautiful greeting myself...

'Can't you just leave it?'- Madam returns me to the reality show.

'What? Why? It's her Birthday! It is a special day for humans, right?'

'She is hurt, baby. This card will be way too much too soon for her, so you know.'

'Yeah, could be, that is why I write nothing. I just draw a heart. For her to know that my Love for her is unshakable. That's all, baby'- I mimic my friend, thinking since when Birthday cards became a bad idea.

'Look, it is like this- she is upset and, possibly, angry at you. So let her be that much upset and angry. Do not insufflate more fuel into the fire for a time being'- Madam understands humans better than me...

'I get it...'- I whisper- 'but it's her Birthday...'

'Are you aware you still playing  t h a t  game?'- she asks me gently.

Bang! A knock-out! She is right. 'But hold on a second, my dear human expert'- I take a deep breath before I start my tirade- '< ... > all that does not matter that much in a bigger picture. All what matters is Love. And, I believe, I am here to deliver this Love. To myself and everyone around me, who are in need or want for it. That is how I grow my Spirit. That is how I feel Goddess here on Earth. All that makes me even brighter yellow. All that- is what I do- I send Love cards to my friends on their Birthdays!'

'Goddess here on Earth? Tell me more about it'- she asks.

This one is my favourite line of hers! I smile. And I tell her more about it. Just to reassure that I am not going to go to some cave in those mountains to reunite with the gods in heaven.

'Now you tell me something, please'- I ask her proudly. 'Would you have a slightest suspicion I might be going out of my human mind in any way?'

'No, I don't, but- I can tell you my experience about you as a human and as a spiritual being'- she suggests.

'Of course! Please, do'- in her experiences I trust!

'I miss a human side of you. Yellow can be overwhelming at times. It's just that feeling... Of no space around...'

Wow!! I take a step back. My mind blanks. I hear no more. 'There is no space to be- around you...'- tickles in my brain cells... I am very familiar with 'no space' feeling... And I am already there- in a blink of an eye... 'No space' is my only one fear...

'Leave me alone. I am tired'- does not sound like our joke anymore. I walk away... To rethink in a space... To start doubting Love card to my friend on her Birthday...

 

 

(... from the yellow conversations.)

Briga Saulė, 2014

Briga Saulė, 2014


Somehow I burst into laugh when came back home. It is the way it is. I am who I am. And it cannot be any other way. I live to my understanding. I cry and I laugh, I make mistakes and I learn from them. I live human life to the full. I do not know what mission is set for me here, just yet. All I know- I am delighted and privileged to be who I am today. I believe we make choices according to our free will. I believe, sometimes, we have to say no to gain many more yes's. I am happy I do not feel guilty anymore. I am happy I do not doubt. I believe I do well. And so I stand my ground.

'Hey, that is so you- beautiful. To be your true self for what you came. In that I hear and feel spiritual Goddess'- Madam hears me every time.

 

... and the lights comes on... and so does gentle rain... A girl on a mountain is looking at me from the card... I dance... I am back on my feet.

'Moments when you can bless and feel blessed are often those moments at which you are most alone, yet most alive to everyone and everything around you'- somebody once said.

This is  t h a t  moment...


I posted Birthday card on the next day...

by Brigita Stasun

30.

My precious Sea.

I'm at your feet.

I'm begging you.

To wash away my dead.

To wash away my judgement.

Which ghosts around 

My yellow world.

Which leads today

into

inadequacies

of mustard'y tomorrow...

 

Do not pause on the Day of Love, sweetheart. There is no betrayal. Or debt of any sort. There is only utopia's of our unpolished thinking...

 

 

(... black holes of the Milky Way.)

by Brigita Stasun

29.

The best thing of all- no matter where I am- up, down, upside down or God knows where- Self Love does not go away any more. I love myself smoking, I love myself fat, I love myself judging, I love myself lonely, I love myself listening for the heaviest music, I love myself sad. I love myself lost, I love myself found... I love myself all the way all the time. What an achievement! What a privileged place to be in.


White pearls fritters down from the sky!

All the neighbours looks through the windows- outside.

And so I am too- on my couch- watching it snow- with the cuppa of raspberry tea and honey, which drips on my toes...

So cheerful that snow in the West! Covered by umbrellas, tasted with tongues, memorised with a camera phones, respectfully overstepped- or, at least, tried so...

So unusual, never expected! Through the reading glasses looked at- always amaze us!!

 

Three minutes of the white intrigue! Three honey rice cakes- of the sweet one :) 

by Brigita Stasun

28.

Sunshine, you get so caught up in your own controversies- you forgetting to watch the beauty around you!!!

The sea is emerald green today. And mountains are dark blue. Wind surfers are here! Are you ready for a show??

Rain smells lemon lavender today (air freshener- double in a pack of single- coincidence?)- to mark my existence somewhere in between winter and spring. My present still feel overstimulated by the last week's business adventures, boxes of nicotine and tones of sugar. I am so heavy I cannot fly... All what is left to do is to watch others fly. Look at them! Look at this extremes! Oh my dear Gods- they are  a m a z i n g !!

More and more of those who cannot fly are coming to the show... My hand starts itching. My heart starts smiling. My eyes are opening to the wonders of an ordinary day again... I thank wind hero for the performance. His face looks familiar- strange... Someday I will try this game also. Someday would not be that far away. To fly is my goal. In every way.

All is allowed. All is in my pocket!

 

Navigating a sight

Through below and under.

Surfing a sense

Of the flight in between.

All that it is-

An ocean eternal-

Of lost and found

In the pockets

of an ordinary

Friday

mist...

 

Marga, 2010

Marga, 2010


Wind hero is, actually, from my work place!! You can laugh and laugh, and laugh at that tricky gentle madness of our human world...

I see two hearts, hanging in a pharmacy's window across the street. I look at my phone- wind hero is on my screensaver!! Ah ha ha ha haaaaaaa... Thank you, Universe, thank you for redeeming me joys of 'things that cannot happen, but it does'... 

by Brigita Stasun

27.

WHAT IF

 

I would not be able to see-

Would I feel an infinite blue?

What if

I would not be able to hear-

Would it be compromised

With that gold of the Catholic's view?

 

What if

I would not be able to feel-

Love eternal- the gift from the skies?

What if

I would not be able to smell-

Rain of Ireland- my heart mortifies...

 

What if

I would never met you this life-

Would I be who I am in the temples of joy?

What if

You never read me between the lines-

Would today be as precious as those white feather toys?

 

What if

There would be no tomorrow-

Would Peace make its landing on our behalf?

What if

There would be no sorrow-

Would I kiss your tears- the sweetest thing in my heart?

 

What if

We all step out together

To knock on the heaven's door here- on Earth?

What if

We've hear we are granted

Courage we need- to say no and spell yes...

 

 

(... from the first class of creative writing- forced into 'past' thinking :)

by Brigita Stasun

26.

In the newly build church I am washing the altar... I ladle water from a bucket which always stays full... The altar is made from marble, slightly yellow in colour- almost white... Spotlessly washed- it spatters like diamonds- just like a morning dew... It is so new... What is happening here? I sit on it. I dangle legs of mine... I would like to stand up... But I am not sure... I don't know its purpose... Maybe blessed it is... Above it- it is an open gap- I see the sky... The sky is clear and so starry- like from my visions of a magic night... I gaze above- I see the towers of this church... The same in colour- slightly yellow, almost white... Gothic in style, oh God... what a beauty... I never saw white Gothic church before... It is most favourite architecture style of mine... I look asides- it has the windows to see the Earth... Just like from Buddha's times! I feel the blend of day and night. I feel the colours- black and white. I feel the past, I feel the future. So balanced and so equally right... Oh, I think I understand! It is my own church!!! I build it for myself! Between those travels through the lives... To come and rest- to pray and cry, to still the mind, to watch the time pass by, to stand by what you think the Truth is right... So peaceful this balance between the old and new... Incorporated gently in the altar's morning dew...

I have my own church... This is an overwhelming joy from every single point of view... I can create my own religion now... And accommodate here my precious Soul...

by Brigita Stasun

25.

YES, I DO MAKE MISTAKES--------

SILLY ONES.

UNPLEASANT ONES.

UNFAIR ONES.

THE EGO DRIVEN ONES.

 

I AM A HUMAN AFTER ALL!!

 

A material to learn--------

Me.  Briga Saulė, 2011

Me. Briga Saulė, 2011

by Brigita Stasun

24.

Sometimes I don't know- is it a dream or reality that I live. Sometimes I loose a track... And I let everything to carry me away... As long as the music plays- I am on a road anyway...

Drifting in Conemarra. Watching a bit frustrated nature... Everything and everybody swirls their powers around these days. Everything and everybody has their own ways in doing that...

Mountains are hiding... And so does swans in the lakes... Wonder follows my miles. Curiosity is clapping its hands... Let's just dip here... and build the bridge between the reality and a dream...

Connemara, Co Galway. &nbsp;Briga Saulė, 2013

Connemara, Co Galway. Briga Saulė, 2013


Watching the rain shifting sideways

Opening a gap in the sky

I melt into the sense of balance

Sun ray kisses my tear in a blink of an eye

 

... on the Wild Atlantic Way I found sweet music between my life and my Soul...

 

'Below or above- there is always a lifeboat.' (Me!)

Connemara, Co Galway.  Artur Andriko, 2010

Connemara, Co Galway. Artur Andriko, 2010


'Those toffees looks like soaps'- I tell lady over the counter in a gift shop. 'And soaps looks like cakes'- she comments back and we both laugh... In Kylenmore Abbey confusion is present also, hehe.

Kylenmore Abbey, Connemara, Co Galway.&nbsp; &nbsp;Briga Saulė, 2013

Kylenmore Abbey, Connemara, Co Galway.  Briga Saulė, 2013


I sit and watch the snow covering grounds... It snows and snows, and snows... Just like a sugar on my eyelashes nowadays...

What am I hungry for??

 

Comfort. We will come back to this one, baby :(

by Brigita Stasun

23.

Galway is drowning in a rain mist. I am drowning in a fortune of sugar :) In my little black dress, besides the grand piano... Feeling of freedom, comfort and wealth. My mind is misting through Radisson's world of leather into the Salt Cave... Wet beauty of Lough Atalia infuses feeling of perfect- moment, day, life, me. Nice and easy. Just like it is lately. ALL GOOD.

So I laugh. To feel even better. Laugh is like a colour on a canvas of blue hues... Yes, yes- the one my writer colleague talked about! The one from the Sea about the Sea into the Sea...

'Laugh would be a substitute to butterflies. In a winter time'- occurs to me.

Getting even mistier. Ah! Galways turns white... I smile. Friday...

 

 

(... one of those 'balmy' afternoons- trippy like Nirvana, hehehe)

Briga Saulė, 2011

Briga Saulė, 2011

by Brigita Stasun

22.

I sit in my playroom and watch a smoke of an incense unravel in the rays of an evening sunshine... I see 4 D... Wow... What a wonderful gift!!!

Briga Saulė, 2013

Briga Saulė, 2013


Glass of red wine on Sunday would be one more cliché to drop in... Italian music cashmere sounds... Joy is gently splashing in the rain drop's crowns... No no- it is not a dream... 'Fulfilment of Wishes' is on my cards... 

by Brigita Stasun

21.

My Thursday's bakery caffe routine comes to an end... Cakes will not seduce my mind any more, hehehe, well, at least not in here! Those good endings are always so gentle and so empty... They blink in green lights and green tea... green feeling of the green ending... Strange feel of, maybe, a little too early- arrival of spring... Or, maybe, another beginnings- which are very rapid this year- it overtakes everyone and everything. In the green valley of green senses I accelerate... let's go- to the promised  Y E L L O W   W O R L D...

Milky Way- not far away!!

Briga Saulė, 2010

Briga Saulė, 2010


Will you touch my Soul today, the sweetest boy?


You never did. I understand, my darling. I understand that you are not able for this. I feel and even see your fear. Under those umbrellas of the good old West :)

I kiss the scars in my heart. I hug myself in pain. Today- I am at your funeral... Today- is such a beautiful day!

I am glad it is real- after all. I am glad I have faced the Truth. I am glad it sets me free...

I pray for the rain. I pray for it to wash this parting wrench away... I pray for healing on this winter's day. I pray for an empty space and a new canvas... I am ready to start mixing new paints... Today is all I do- I pray...

 

Just say a word

To set us free

To touch the Truth

Which leads uphill

Just say a word

To bless that step

Which takes us forward

Towards blue sky

And sunshine in the rain

 

Rest in Peace, my darling...

I have to leave--------

No strings attached.  Tomas Terekas, 2011

No strings attached. Tomas Terekas, 2011


What an alluring discontented content...

... would be today's cliché!

Vodafone's messages (instead of someone's long awaited) cheers me up- for a change!

Oh, look- gentle rain!! I tip along with it- uphill...

by Brigita Stasun

20.

Not too much of the dust, hardship nor struggle. Placid are my house renovations this year, thanks to Gods... Or, maybe, an absolute Peace landing down? After the rain, from the sky on the wings of January wind?


Goodness so much! Tipping on my toes through the straight arrows... like via robe, that you see in a circus... I hold perfect balance... Sticks are thrown to the ground... I am not afraid to plunge down... Double rainbows are my guidelines... If I wish- I can sway on their swings... If I wish- I can breathe only salt of Dead Sea... I am surfing in Love rays... And want more and more and more of it...

Marga, 2010

Marga, 2010

by Brigita Stasun

19.

'I feel so many people are scared of me'- I tell Madam. 'Of course they are. You have incorporated into the Holy Trinity lately. Even I am scared of you'- my friend sounds seriously touched.

But hey- what other compliment can be more complimentary than this one- for all that I do... 

My antennas reached frequency of the highest (??) vibrations. I aligned smoothly with Love these days. I walk the corridor at work- feeling the energy pumping through my veins- fulfilling me, asking to be shared away... I open my palms and let it flow- to every single Soul I meet, to every single corner of this corridor... Mad- I know!!! ... :)


Strong as never. Even with all the intensity of the sideways. And even without.

So on my own. And so not lonely. High in the moment. And high on the 'bigger picture'. It is actually happening...

Thank you, Universe and, please, allow me those six months of rest in sunny California, please... Send me away from my world for a while... We all need me to leave right now... It is one of those very rear moments when I speak for us all... Universe- please...

by Brigita Stasun